
A Novel by Matthew Hoyle
And Britain's greatest legends are the only ones who can fight back.
"Armed with swords, runes, sarcasm, and sheer bloody-minded British stubbornness, they're here to tell the apocalypse — and a cathedral-sized dragon named Boris — to fuck right off."
The Story
When the dragons return, they rise hungry from the Welsh depths—ancient, hateful, and ravenous. Their acid breath melts jetliners mid-flight. Their fire turns castles into slag while annihilating the monarchy in a single theatrical massacre. Modern weapons fail. Armies become meat. The land itself delivers a brutal decree: only the anointed may spill wyrm blood. Only the already anointed—those knighted before the fall—can draw dragon blood.
As Britain drowns in fire, acid, and despair, a savage new resistance is born. Dame Helen Mirren—bloodied, chain-smoking, and done pretending—steps into legend with sword in hand. Joined by a fellowship of living icons—Sir Patrick Stewart, Dame Judi Dench, Dame Maggie Smith, Sir Ian McKellen, Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney, and others—the last anointed knights take up steel, runes, and raw defiance against the scaly apocalypse.
They will carve through nests of nightmare, endure hellish rites that break bodies and souls, and paint the ruined countryside red with dragon gore. In a war of burning flesh, shattered bones, and black humor forged in the fire, they fight not just for survival—but for the soul of a broken nation.


The monarchy is ash.
The old world is dead.
And the dragons are about to learn what a pissed-off Dame with nothing left to lose can do.
The Anointed
The last knights anointed before the fall — the only souls who can draw dragon blood.
01The Unbroken Blade
Longsword & lit cigarette
02The Iron Voice
Broadsword & command
03The Merciless
Rapier & wit
04The Warsinger
Rune-keys & fire
05The Bard of Battle
Bass & bravado
06The Spymistress
Daggers & runes
07The Runewright
Rune-staff & storm
08The Dark Whisper
Shadow-craft & venomed wit
…and more national treasures, blade in hand.

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